Premier Inn, Slough Central South

 

Slough - Premier Inn, Slough Central South 

Windsor Road, Slough, SL1 2EL 

April 2023

 

‘Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough, It isn't fit for humans now’. That’s what John Betjeman said about the town eighty or so years ago. The place hasn’t improved in that time; moreover, if our stay at this PI is anything to go by, I might well not be the only one recalling those words. 

We were in the area for a few days, visiting Marlow, Maidenhead, Windsor and Beaconsfield. Slough seemed the logical place to stay, and, trusting that a PI is less likely to disappoint than some more expensive hotel chains, we chose this one. We did end up disappointed, but, it has to be said, not as disappointed as we would have been if we had paid more than the £332 we had for four nights room-only.

The room was pretty much standard for PI these days: good availability of power points, a large screen Freeview TV (not, however, tuned to the same channel numbers as listed in Radio Times - GB News and Talk TV were missing), and a sofa and chair as alternatives to the bed or floor when you want to do something other than stand.  The window, offering a view of the wall and windows of the flats opposite, didn’t open, and the heating was controlled by the on-wall LCD control - which did work, but (as at most other PIs I can recall) it was configured for an office environment, and switched off the heating at night. (Surely, if you can’t open the window, you need the aircon to work at night to keep cool?)

The bathroom was standard PI: no shaver socket, no heating, shower over the bath, signs of plaster damage perhaps from an overflow upstairs. It sufficed. 

The blackout curtains worked well: indeed, they actually caused a bit of a problem, in that they made the room very dark at night. We ended up leaving the bathroom light on and door ajar so that we could find our way to the loo in the night.  

PI have made one change in policy since I last stayed at one of their hotels, as advised by posters on the stairways and in the lifts: if you are staying more than one night and want your room serviced, you need to ask at reception and put a little tag on your door handle. I think this is a retrograde step: the convention has always been you should ask for your room not to be serviced, and finding a receptionist in the morning is not always easy. We did ask for our room to be serviced on all three mornings; to show that the system doesn’t work, it wasn’t done on the first occasion, and I had to go down to reception in the evening and request a fresh towel. On the second and third days it was done, although on one occasion we were only given one tea bag and a chipped mug. Housekeeping at this PI is clearly not of a standard they can be proud of.

One problem they clearly have in this PI must relate to furniture. The bed in our room appeared to be narrower than the designer of the room had expected, there were gaps of about a foot on each side between it and the bedside tables - one of which was fixed to the headboard (which was also wider). Fortunately my partner managed to reach her glass of water every time across this gap, but why the bed didn’t fit the room wasn’t quite clear. 

The mystery deepened when we went out the first morning of our stay: summoning the lift from the fifth floor, it refused to come up that far. For perhaps ten minutes we watched the lift displays, one lift seemingly stuck at 0 (ground floor), the other going up and down between 0 and 3. We walked down the stairs, and at the ground floor all was revealed: workmen were occupied with a challenge of fitting a bed into one of the lifts. Perhaps this had happened to our bed and the only way to get the bed up to our room was to reduce it from its intended width, I mused. 

This experience was mildly annoying on that first occasion. It was far less entertaining on the day we checked out, when I had to lug our suitcase down the stairs from said fifth floor while the same workmen moved more furniture about in lifts that are surely intended for guest use. I grumbled loudly about the clear, significant failings as we left: there were no warning signs out for guests explaining that maintenance work was going on and apologising for the inconvenience, and (from experience, many years ago) I know it's much easier, quicker and less destructive (to both furniture and lifts) to take beds up and down stairs in a hotel than it is to get them in and out of lifts.  

The location of this PI is good - a couple of miles north of Windsor Castle, maybe ten minutes (difficult) walk from Slough railway station, and with a good selection of restaurants, shops and pubs nearby. There’s a mini Tesco next door, and a Wetherspoon just up the road; we didn’t use the on site bar or restaurant. (I say ‘difficult’ regarding the walk - there are a few roads to cross, including the A4, where the crossing seems to have been designed on the basis that all pedestrian humanity has all followed JB’s advice and are avoiding the town: to say that using it is a challenge with a suitcase would be an extreme understatement.)

Overall, would I stay there again? Maybe. There is competition nearby, in the shape of a Travelodge and a Moxy, also the rather more upmarket (i.e. expensive) Marriott, and I can’t be sure that any of them would be better. None seemed to have opening windows (I like fresh air!) and may well have equally customer-unfriendly ways of working, so if I ever happen to be in Slough again I’ll most likely be disappointed, however much I pay; having seen some other local towns, I’m not sure there’s anything much better there.  

Having done what we had to in the area we may just decide to keep away. I’m not sure that’s quite how the directors of Premier Inn would like guests to feel after a stay in one of their hotels, they clearly have some work to do.

Premier Inn, Dorchester

5 Pope Street, DT1 1GW

November 2022

 

A trip to Dorset involved an overnight stay, and, knowing that there is a very well-located PI there, that was the obvious choice. A £54 up front payment got us a double room for one night (postponable, but not cancellable); breakfast would have been extra, but we know good cafes in the town so didn’t bother with that. I have to say, it was good to stay in a PI again, after a few disappointing stays in independent establishments (see previous entries on my blog); for the first time in a few months we didn’t feel let down or ripped off staying away from home.

+++

Check-in was easy; they had my record on the computer and the receptionist gave us our key, before directing us to the lift to the fourth floor. All of the communal areas were spotless, if they have any walkers or other slightly grubby guests they are very good at cleaning up after them. 

+++

Entering our room the first thing I noticed was the desk, below a flat screen TV; a chair was provided should we wish to do some work or write some postcards. Our room at one establishment charging nearly four times what we paid here did not have this simple feature.  

+++

Adjacent to the desk was the standard PI wardrobe unit; hanging space in the middle, drawer below, tea and coffee one side and a stand-up, well lit dressing table (good for eye make-up, apparently) and hairdryer on the other. In one small space this had at least two features that same expensive room elsewhere hadn’t.

On the other side of the unit were a few coat hooks, again something that was missing in that expensive room; opposite them, a full length mirror, well placed to check your dress before you go out for the evening..  

+++

This unit was well placed opposite the bed; if you have a wardrobe on one or other side of the bed then one guest has to walk round the bed to get their stuff. PI rooms demonstrate good design; anyone planning to run a B&B should look at some to see how to do it. Certainly, some personalisation of the decor might be welcome, and independents are free to do that, but they should not miss out any of the basics.   

The bed itself was the usual PI king-size offering, with a comfortable mattress - certainly well up to the standards of the other places we’ve stayed this year (indeed, far better than at one). I must say the pillows were not quite to my liking, all four we had seemed to be quite thick and firm - usually PI provides one firm, one soft for each guest. 

Beside the bed, on one side was a table, on the other a small cabinet - well, table with shelf really. I don’t understand why they don’t provide a cabinet on both sides. I did note the lack of a Gideon bible, usually PI rooms have them; maybe a previous guest felt the need to take it. I like the idea of Gideon bibles: I know some people think it’s preposterous, but a bible in a room in a strange town can give comfort. Further, anyone who isn’t Christian can surely only justify their beliefs by undertaking an occasional study of Christian literature - and I write this as an atheist.  

+++

I was pleased to find the window opened to allow ventilation; beneath the window was a standard PI sofa. This gave us plenty of space to set out the few belongings we’d taken with us.  Later, at night, the room was warm, and that ventilation was valued; I do struggle with PI heating controls.

In the evening we did find the ceiling lights to be only just adequate. PI seems to have a thing for keeping lights dim; fortunately, there were good bedside lights, and a bright desk lamp too, as well as the lights on the dressing mirror.

We found the TV easy to operate, although when switched off (to standby) and switched on again it would always revert to channel 1. I don’t watch BBC1 so I find this frustrating; the channels were, however, set up to include all the Freeview ones I could think of, including radio. A freeview guide might be useful for any patrons who aren’t used to it. Also, the TV had been left with subtitles on - I would have expected that to be a checklist item for the staff when making up a room. 

+++

The bathroom was basic - small, no shaver point, the usual flip-flop plug in the basin (that more often than not leaks) and a fixed shower head over a bath. There were no grab rails for bath or shower users apart from ones on the bath itself; one on the wall above the bath would be helpful. The extractor fan outlet wasn’t 100% clean but it did show evidence of being cleaned in the past, which is more than I can say for some of the other places we’ve stayed recently.

The bathroom door wouldn’t stay ajar; it must have been slightly off-centre on its hinges, for if left open it gradually opened fully on its own accord. 

+++

Check out was easy; the receptionist just pointed us to the box where we could leave our key card. There was no administrative confusion or chaos.

+++

Overall, yes, this PI has faults. So did the independents we’ve stayed in recently; the things about this stay were the price and the facilities provided for that price. You struggle to beat a Premier Inn for predictable value; as I said earlier, those running independent businesses should look closely at the PI offering, and make sure they do at least that if they wish to charge any more than a chain hotel. 

Will we stay at the Dorchester PI again? Almost certainly. 

+++

The Valley Hotel, Ironbridge

 

Ironbridge - Best Western Valley Hotel 

Buildwas Rd, Ironbridge, Coalbrookdale, Telford TF8 7DW

April 2022

 

Viv and I had a four-night stay in Ironbridge last week; rather than risk the chance of choosing an eccentric or noisy pub, we opted to go for a hotel, and the only one in the village is the Best Western Valley Hotel.

Arriving there by taxi was almost thrilling, approaching the village down the steep roads down the valley side seemed to take us away from the modern world, into a place more interesting, historical and scenic. The hotel itself though was not terribly welcoming. The approach to the reception door was down some very steep steps; fortunately a handrail was provided, and needed - we both used it every time we came and went.

On the window of the door there was a sign formed of adhesive lettering requesting, or advising, guests to wear a face mask in all hotel public areas. I’m not of the view that face masks should be banned - if people are nervous they are free to wear whatever they like - but it is now surely well known that good ventilation and cleanliness are key to reducing the spread of covid, and the consequences of being infected are, in any event, relatively minor for even the quite elderly unless they have other illnesses. A sign up asking me to wear a face mask is, to me, akin to a bouncer eyeing me up on entry and saying something like ‘I don’t like the way you look’: it's the very opposite of what I expect from a hotel, it’s not welcoming. 

Reception - and restaurant staff at The Valley were wearing masks in public places, but I felt sorry for them. They no doubt realised the pointlessness of it, and how a hotel full of people with covered faces is not a place that many people feel they can relax.

***

The reception area was rather dated, dark furnishings and decor, so it was no surprise when, after climbing the rather curious staircase to find our room that we opened the door to see a spacious, but very 1980s, hotel room. Unfortunately, not only was the style rather of that era, some of the furnishings may well have been that old. The mattress was at least clean, and looked quite new, but after a night's sleep on it I decided it was the thinnest I have slept on since a zed-bed many years ago. The pillows were shot to bits, resting your head on one resulted in the filling moving away from the underside of your head, leaving it resting solely on the mattress.

The carpet was aged but clean, ditto the curtains (which could have come from a vintage shop) and pelmet (yuk). The shades on the lamps either side of the bed did not match. There was, however, and much to my surprise, a small balcony with a pair of outdoor chairs and a table, accessible from a door that opened easily; unfortunately the security chain on this was broken, I had to be careful to make sure it was locked whenever we left the room. The balcony itself was adequate, although sitting out there and looking back at the room you didn’t have to try hard to see the inadequate state of the exterior paintwork of the building. 

A check around revealed all the basics were there - two (rather small) chairs, a proper wardrobe (with doors) and drawers (no panicking about what the cleaners will think of my underwear), full length mirror, TV (strangely, hiding in the corner of the room where the drawn curtains would obscure the margin of the screen), power points close to the bed head, a great digital clock that even I, with my -4.5 eyesight, could see in the dark, hospitality tray (including mineral water and glasses), hairdryer, and, in the ensuite, a shaver socket. There was even a phone on one side of the bed, it's ages since I stayed in a hotel room with a phone, very 1980s! I was surprised that there was no information folder, and hence no way of contemplating dinner in the restaurant other than enquiring about the menu at reception. In the ensuite all was clean, and, as we later found, the over bath shower was powerful, and hot water plentiful, but the controls were not easy to use - something that should have been communicated in an information folder. There was, though, some poor finishing, especially around the shower screen, seemingly half a tube of silicone having been dolloped around it to stop leaks. 

I mentioned the cleaners, a big plus was that the rooms were serviced daily: there was none of the ’we’re not servicing rooms to avoid spreading covid’ nonsense that some hotels have inflicted upon the paying public in recent times. (Many of the paying public were all too aware it was just a way to cut back on staff, and nothing to do with covid).

One expectation for many guests that wouldn’t be met was wi-fi. There didn’t seem to be any public wi-fi in the hotel at all. We did have an opening window (as well as the balcony door), but somehow a builder had messed it up though, it didn’t open very much because it bashed against the rail around the balcony! Phone signal was ok, marginally better on the balcony. 

Lighting in the room was largely by means of fluorescent bulbs: it was adequate, only just. There was no light over either mirror in the bedroom, and only one - on the left - for the bathroom mirror. I’m not sure if I shaved the right side of my face properly at all during my stay, but no-one said anything: perhaps it's a tradition at The Valley, that all male residents should grow right-side-only beards during their stay.

The ensuite had been designed, or fitted out, by someone who doesn’t wash their face very often, for there was an awkward shelf fitted just above the basin. It was big enough to get in the way when washing, but not big enough to take the washbag of a couple staying away from home for a few nights. The washbag had to stay in the bedroom.

One major omission in the ensuite was a handrail (or perhaps two) to hold on to while getting into the bath to use the over-bath shower: I wouldn’t be surprised to hear of guests grabbing the flimsy towel rail instead, and this giving way, perhaps resulting in injury. Another disappointment was the standard of loo roll provided: soft loo roll should surely be provided in anything above a basic hotel, and that supplied was more than a little on the rough side.

I do wonder whether we were the first guests to stay in the room for a while: at the start of our stay the bath drained very slowly, but it freed up after we had had a couple of showers. This should have been picked up by the cleaners, for a slow draining bath or shower tray in a hotel is a potential cause of much damage and inconvenience if a guest should forget they’ve left the taps running.

I was a little surprised to be given just one card key for our room, but, unlike many hotels, there would have been no need for a second unless we both wanted to go out, separately (which we didn’t): the lighting in the room was not controlled by a card. Heating was reliable, of the underfloor variety, controlled by a proper thermostat like the one I’m used to at home. No aircon or fan was running through the night while we slept, if there is one good thing about 1980s hotel room design the heating and ventilation must be it! Also, I was rather surprised to find that there was no Gideon Bible; some hosts don’t approve, but I’ve never understood why, for a bible can give reassurance to those who might feel a little troubled away from home. 

***

When lying in bed with the TV on a few more shortcomings became apparent. As well as the actual position of the TV relative to the curtains, the remote seemed to operate in a very strange fashion. I had to press the buttons very hard to get it to work at all, and, on multiple occasions, I had to get out of bed and go to the screen to select channels from the channel menu rather than just enter the channel number. For some reason that did not work very well. Further, channels were assigned to different channel numbers on the TV than (I thought) the Freeview standard was. Again, an in-room information folder might have explained the vagaries of the television. For all that, the picture was always good, and the volume could be turned up to be suitably audible at all times; I am not sure if those in adjoining rooms might have heard it, but we never heard theirs. Indeed, sound from passageways or other rooms was minimal; the only disturbance we experienced was a (presumed) staff member’s motorcycle arriving in the car park at six a.m. every day, and a delivery van that seemed to come every morning well before 4. (There was a sign on the front door advising delivery drivers to go round the back; surely it would have made sense to have night time deliveries at the front door, away from most of the bedrooms. This was a good, but not the only, example of the sort of idiosyncrasy that I had expected at a Best Western hotel.)  

Another problem that became apparent lying in bed - as well as the poor quality mattress and dreadful pillows - was that the bed was, I think, rather short. It was certainly no bigger than a standard double; I’m five foot ten and my feet reached the bottom. Again, Premier Inn provides large beds, and the management at The Valley Hotel should learn from them - the room was plenty big enough for a king size. In fact, there was something curious about the bed: the divan base was in two halves, and divided crosswise halfway down; the connection between the two halves was not sound, there being a two inch gap between them. This also meant there was two inches of divan at the foot of the bed with no mattress.

There was also a huge expanse of space on the wall, where the modest flat screen TV could have been fitted high and centrally, yet it was hidden off to one side. I suspect the owners were only prepared to pay a minimal amount to the sparks who fitted the screen, so he kept the cable runs as short as possible - surely a false economy.

The view from our room window, or balcony, was rather marred by being overlooked by some modern houses, perhaps affordable housing, that had clearly been built in what was once part of the land belonging to the hotel. These neighbours there weren't terribly noisy, but the houses did somewhat spoil a view of what I had expected to be scenic grounds. (I did also notice that, on the footpath beside the road to the east of the hotel entrance, masses of ivy growing from land seemingly enclosed by these properties, clearly not being controlled or managed by anyone. This may have even been a responsibility of the hotel, and partially blocked footpaths outside a hotel do not a good image make.) 

***

Not being people who like hotel breakfasts - all that politeness around the buffet and keeping a nervous eye on ‘your’ slice of toast going round in the toaster - Viv and I opted to breakfast elsewhere. The first morning we grabbed croissants and coffee at the Co-op - cheap, but basic, with a coffee machine that didn’t want to do a hot chocolate for caffeine-nervous me; on the other mornings we ate at Darby’s, a cafe by the iron bridge that opened at 8 (more or less). Darby’s was pricier than I had expected but still cheaper, for what we wanted, than the hotel would have been, at £10 for a continental and £14 for a cooked. 

We did eat one meal, a dinner, in the hotel restaurant, and, generally, we were impressed - although the prices were not at the budget end of the market (£25 for a steak). The waiting staff were very keen but some clearly lacked experience; the food was generally satisfactory, although my rare steak was somewhat lacking in pinkness. Like many hospitality venues the management is, I suspect, operating with a new team in both kitchen and restaurant, which will give rise to minor issues. I saw the staff working hard and didn’t have the heart to send back my steak, although, pre-covid, I probably would have done.

***

Unlike Premier Inn, Best Western is a franchise: branded hotels will be individual, and guests may actually like this. However, I do think that, for rates well in excess of what you’d pay at a PI, guests are entitled to expect the basic comforts if not more, and bed, pillows and mattress  to be at least up to the PI standard. The Valley Hotel would have worked out around £120 a night for two B&B (£95 a night room only), and there’s no excuse for a thin mattress and knackered pillows at that price. They do indeed offer ‘superior’ rooms, perhaps with better beds, but a comfortable night’s sleep bed is surely a basic expectation, not an extra for those willing to pay perhaps £20 more.

The Valley Hotel is in a good location, just ten minutes walk from Ironbridge centre and in something of a monopoly position, for there is no other large hotel in Ironbridge. It does have a lovely location, good restaurant and keen - if perhaps inexperienced - staff, but for me a decent bed is a must. In the unlikely event that I am ever in Ironbridge again I shall not look forward to sleeping on that sort of bed again, and will require significant reassurance regarding room standards to stay at The Valley Hotel. 

Premier Inn, Kidderminster

 

Kidderminster - Premier Inn 

Slingfield Mill, Weavers Wharf, Kidderminster DY10 1AA

April 2022

 

Years ago, Kidderminster was a ‘car’ town. Many of the middle-aged residents were long-serving skilled or managerial employees at Longbridge, a town synonymous with strikes, and ‘friday’ cars that didn’t start, had bumpers that fell off or doors that didn’t shut properly. There was a culture, perhaps, that the employees knew best, that they have a job for life making products and providing services to a quality that they deemed to be sufficient. Twenty odd years ago that resulted in Longbridge closing; it's now a huge supermarket.

But attitudes persist, and Kidderminster clearly has a problem. We chose to stay at the PI following our experiences at the other once-decent hotel in town (see my blog entry from February 2022). On our next trip we’ll be staying in Bewdley or Stourport, for we’ve given up on Kidder.

***

Our stay was for two nights, on a mini-tour, after a night’s stop in the PI in Bicester, which is on the outskirts of the town, unlike the Kidderminster one in an old mill in the town centre. The contrast between the two PIs was significant. At Bicester the taxi had been able to drop us off outside the entrance, but there is no drop-off zone at Kidder; also I don’t recall having any concerns over cleanliness of the entrance at Bicester, but at Kidderminster the dingy entrance door, and the surrounding pavement, was splattered with pigeon poo. This sort of thing is surely a sign of an organisation that doesn’t quite understand what customers want, or, indeed, what is hygienic. So much for ‘CleanProtect’.

Reception was up on the 4th floor, of the two lifts one apparently ran at normal speeds but the other took ages. I don’t recall this being the case on previous visits. Check-in was ok, a little confused, although I still haven’t received the email invoice that I was supposed to have been sent. I was, however, not inspired by being told that they were not servicing rooms ‘due to covid’; sorry, but if you work in hospitality, you should expect to encounter members of the public who might have illnesses…. and if you are under 60, and fit, covid poses little risk to you).

Despite there being two of us we were only given one room key - the receptionist clearly not aware of the problems caused if one of a couple goes out to the shops while the other wants to stay in the room, where the lights go out when the key is removed from the holder!

***

Our room was spacious, something I do like about PIs, but it featured the now-standard PI heating/air con and the window didn’t open. (This was probably a good thing in some respects because of the pigeons, but I like fresh air, and PI should deal with their obvious pest problem and clean their windows.) It had been prepared, was reasonably clean, but some details had escaped attention - most notably, the loo cistern refilled at a snail’s pace, meaning it could only be flushed once every half hour. (I did complain about this on the first morning of our stay, and was told it would be fixed ‘if you’re happy for us to enter your room’. I told them I was, but it wasn’t.)

***

The basics of the room were up to the PI standard, but the TV was disappointing - an old, small, screen, fixed high up on a shelf unit and disappointing after the one we’d had in Bicester, for it didn’t get all channels (I couldn't get GBNews). Despite the lack of room servicing, our hospitality tray contained only four milk cartons; a trip up to reception was required to collect more. (Oddly, at reception they had the milk, tea and coffee packed together, so, anyone wanting just more milk took coffees, teas as well…. the objective of only putting out four milks being, presumably, to control costs by restricting the numbers of sachets taken home by guests, I don’t understand why you would give coffees to someone who only wanted more milks….)

The ensuite was clean, but, in addition to the dysfunctional cistern it also featured an incorrectly calibrated shower tap (the thermostat had obviously been changed and not refitted correctly), and, on our final morning, the rollover plug in the washbasin jammed, and we could let water out of it. I have to say that I believe that room servicing standards were inadequate, and some of these points might have been picked up if the room was serviced daily in the traditional fashion. 

***

In the past we have avoided taking breakfast in the PI, choosing Gregg’s or Costa nearby, but this time we did opt for the PI offering. We now regret that and realise why we went elsewhere: the PI staff are clearly not well enough trained to manage the challenges of families around busy buffet serveries. Unlike at Bicester, guests were not required to book a time slot for breakfast.

The first morning - a Sunday - wasn’t too bad, it was quiet. Cereals were rather as at Bicester, mostly dispensed from cylinders, but they did have sealed packs of Weetabix. There was, however, no full fat milk available (which, believe it or not, is more healthy for you than semi-skimmed), and - at 8.20 with breakfast still open for over another hour and a half - the fruit salad was all gone. 

It was at breakfast on the Monday that the inexperience of the team at the Kidder PI really showed itself. For a Sunday night, the hotel was busy - unusually, I thought, because business travellers tend to stay Monday to Thursday nights; moreover, it was busy with families. There were several multigenerational groups, rather as one might expect in a budget hotel on the Costa Blanca, with excited children, disinterested parents, and bemused grandparents. At least one thirty-ish woman was wandering the corridors in her pyjamas at eleven in the morning.

We arrived at breakfast and the restaurant was perhaps half full, with a couple of these family groups sitting at adjacent tables. The staff told us to sit wherever we’d like to. Viv having a few minor disabilities (and wearing a badge to that effect), I didn’t want her sitting too near children, nor too close to a buffet area where hot things might be being dispensed, so we chose a table for two in the middle of a group of four. Within a minute we were surrounded by the family from hell: parents sat at one end, two children between them and us, and on the end table on the other side sat granny and grandad, right next to the tea and coffee machines.

The parents told their children to help themselves, and the children also helped granny and grandad; how nobody was scolded is beyond me. There were signs on and above the coffee machines saying ‘this machine is for grown ups only’ but has no one told PI that young children like to do grown up things, and it should have been obvious to the staff - if there were enough of them (there was only one chap for most of the time, the was busy clearing tables and keeping his head down) that the parents would have been the sort that would have said ‘she’s alright doing that’ even if their daughter happened to be carrying a pot of boiling water. Also, the signs were high up, from the eyes of a ten year old they would have been hidden behind the machines!

I told Viv, loudly and quite deliberately so as to attempt to draw attention to her badge, that I would get her food. The fruit salad was all gone, I managed to find a yoghurt for her and one of the few croissants left.  

For me, I looked for Weetabix; there was none. I wasn’t going to take my chances with the loose cereals, who knows how many hands might have had contact with them. A pain au choc looked tempting: there were two left, until a boy, around ten I think, stuck his hand into the basket and felt both before deciding which he would like. His mother (I assume; at least, she was a lady supervising him) was right beside him at the time, and there were tongs provided, which they went unused.

That little boy might have recently gone to the toilet and not washed his hands, or possibly placed his clean hands on a surface (chair?) where faecal matter had been deposited by someone’s shoes…. an efficient way to spread something like norovirus, perhaps, or salmonella, which can arise in pigeon droppings, I believe. Like Coronavirus, food poisoning can kill the elderly and vulnerable; remember ‘Don’t kill granny’? There were plenty of opportunities to at the Kidderminster PI that morning.

***

For the price, and with all the boasting about ‘CleanProtect’, Premier Inn guests are surely entitled to expect measures to be in place to minimise all hygiene risks, not just covid, in the restaurant as well as in the rooms. Far better measures should surely have been in place in the restaurant that Monday, including perhaps

• A booking system for breakfast, as at Bicester

• An area in the restaurant for families, and one for those who want a quieter time

• A rule in place that all buffet areas - hot and cold - were to be approached by adults only (PI could be liable if a child injured (scalded or burned) themselves, or others, using or accessing the toaster, coffee machine, etc.)

• A staff member supervising the buffet area to ensure that tongs were used and that children did not approach the area

These measures could have been explained to guests when they were welcomed into the restaurant for breakfast. 

As it was, on that day,  for over nine pounds I expected to have a filling, relaxing breakfast. Instead I ate only what I trusted and got out of there quickly: in terms of value it was poor. I wish they hadn’t closed the ‘spoons in Kidder.

***

I won’t stay at the Kidder PI again. Ever.  On leaving I read a sign in the lift asking guests to review the establishment on Tripadvisor; I don’t usually post on TA, for too many of the reviews seem to be done by people with little industry experience, but I have done this time: they got one star. Next time it’ll be Bewdley or Stourport, and the taxi I use to get from there to Kidder won’t have been made at Longbridge.

Premier Inn, Bicester

 

Bicester - Premier Inn 

Oxford Rd, Bicester OX26 1AN 

April 2022

 

Bicester used to be a small, quaint, country market town, with two railway stations. Then someone built the shopping village, and while the quaint part of town still exists - and is about a mile’s walk from the Premier Inn - it's clear that the target clientele of the Premier Inn fall into two categories: shoppers, and road travellers, heading along the M40. 

The hotel is beside a busy road - actually the A41, just north of the M40 junction - and within a quarter of a mile or so of Bicester Shopping Village. Perhaps understandably, the entrance to the hotel is on the side away from the main road, but this does make it difficult for pedestrians who wish to leave the hotel and wander along into the town itself. 

Reception seemed to be well organised, check-in being smooth and efficient. Access to the first and second floors is via a lift or stairs in a fully glazed bay, making a change from dark hotel stairwells. The corridor to our room was, however, gloomy.

Our room was large, and (generally) clean. As with many PI hotels now, the window didn’t open, heating and (supposed) ventilation being via an aircon unit. Personally, I like fresh air, and, certainly in the day, might want to have the window open even if there is some noise from the adjacent road. 

The large, flat screen TV was well up to the job, as were the tea and coffee options, and the bed was the usual high quality PI offering. There were also some instructions for the aircon, but, even with them, I was unable to simultaneously make the room quiet and a comfortable temperature.

The ensuite featured an over-bath shower which worked well, with no problems with hot or cold water or loo. Unfortunately, as with most PIs, there was no shaver socket - I was glad I had my adapter with me but had to plug it and my toothbrush into a socket near the TV. Use of the facilities did reveal the basin to be rather slow-draining.

Our sleep was ok, no better. I couldn’t get the temperature right, there was the noise from the aircon, and the guest in the room above ours had, perhaps I might say, rather more audible footsteps than I would wish. 

***

Breakfast required a timed booking; I’m fine with this, it does prevent scrums around the buffet. It was, however, served in the Brewer’s Fayre fifty yards away, across a car park with no proper footpath access: in winter you’d need a coat to go over to breakfast, and it might be uncomfortable if you’ve not dried your hair after a shower.

We had to wait a couple of minutes to be seated in the restaurant, which provided the usual PI buffet fare. Muzak was playing and was, for me, rather intrusive, and the lighting more appropriate for a romantic evening meal with an ugly woman than a serve-yourself breakfast. The restaurant, like many, lacked an essential item needed by business travellers: a clock on the wall showing the time. 

The food was of acceptable quality, and there was enough of all options available for us to have what we wanted, rather than what was there. Cereals were mostly in dispensers - so of unknown vintage and heritage - but there were sealed packs of Weetabix and muesli. There was full fat milk too, I was pleased to find. The large plates for the hot selection were only just off-cold, I would have preferred them a little warmer, after all, PI breakfasts aren’t cheap - I think we paid £9.50 each - so I don’t think a warm plate is too much to expect.

***

During our stay we did leave the hotel to explore the old town of Bicester. It's not an easy walk, for, as with access to the restaurant, the designers of the hotel area seem not to have considered that guests might wish to get some gentle exercise during their stay, and in places there is no proper footpath beside the main road, just a well-worn verge. That said, it was well worth the walk, there are many interesting shops, pubs and restaurants in Bicester, as well as some very attractive historic properties.

***

We did, just before leaving, find something that made nonsense of PI’s ‘CleanProtect’ policy: a worn sock (not ours), under the sofa in our room, which should have been found by the cleaners. Personally, I think hospitality businesses need to come clean about covid, and just advise guests that they clean rooms as best they can but cannot guarantee them to be 100% germ free; potential guests who have developed anxiety about infection, and can’t go anywhere without masks, hand gel and the like, should seek mental health treatment, and not expect every business to sterilise the environment in which they will stay.  

I’m unlikely to need accommodation in the Bicester area very often, but, if I do, I’ll be happy to stay at the PI again - although I do wish they would give guests a window that opens.

The Saracens Head, Great Dunmow

 

Great Dunmow - The Saracens Head Hotel

High Street, Great Dunmow, Essex CM6 1AG

March 2022

 

Great Dunmow is a lovely little town. The High Street features a number of independent shops and restaurants, all perhaps a little pricier than some might expect, housed within old, undoubtedly listed, buildings, some dating from perhaps the sixteenth century. It's a few miles from Stansted Airport, which may be why the Saracens Head is such a nice place to stay.

Its rooms are not expensive; we paid £79 for a double, including breakfast. That’s cheaper than many Premier Inns. But, unlike a couple of other budget hotels in which we’ve stayed recently, it is a place I would be happy to go back to.

Set within the structure of an old coaching inn, the Saracens Head combines a bar, cafe, restaurant and hotel, seemingly very successfully. In these just post-covid times, it was, on the Thursday night we visited, busy. (At breakfast there must have been a dozen other guests eating when we were there, around 8am; perhaps not all of their 31 rooms were occupied, but it was good to see a hospitality business doing a reasonable trade.)

***

Our room was in a block separate to the main hotel, perhaps built around 40 years ago. Construction was possibly not perfect - our window did not shut totally - but for our purposes it was fine. Indeed, the room was quite spacious, featuring a king size bed, and enough space around it not only for a bit of yoga exercises by guests but also for cleaners to get in there with the vacuum cleaner and make sure the place was properly serviced - which, generally, it was. The only cleaning failing I could find was the space between the secondary glazing and the window, someone needs to update the cleaning procedures to ensure the cleaners wave the vacuum in there to remove any dead spiders or errant dust particles. 

The ensuite bathroom was, unlike the room, compact; it was not a room in which one person could shave at the basin and another get in and out of the over-bath shower. But it was clean, recently refitted with good over-basin lighting (yay, I could see to shave!), a heated towel rail, and a grab rail to hang on to when getting in or out when using either the bath or the shower.

The shower worked well, although there was no thermostatic controller - it was a case of matching hot and cold taps to get the water ‘just right’. Water pressure at the basin left something to be desired, but it didn’t significantly lengthen the time needed to brush teeth or fill the basin to wash.

The room featured a radiator for heating, which worked well some of the time. It may be that the boiler was on some kind of timer, late in the evening we thought we needed a bit of heat and couldn’t get any, but the quality duvet kept the cold out. The TV worked well, offering normal Freeview channels, once we managed to switch it on - another point for the cleaners’ checklist (leave TV’s on standby ready for guests who won’t know how to switch them on!).

In-room tea and coffee options provided for more than our needs, and were more than adequate for the price we paid, and we even had complimentary biscuits. The in-room information folder was helpful but would have benefitted from TV operating instructions (where is the on switch?) and a menu for the restaurant.

The Saracens Head restaurant seemed to be very popular for diners; we did not eat there (we went to a lovely wine bar just along the road) but, if you are seeking a quality evening meal, it would seem to be a good place to go - one of many in the High Street. Breakfast was a generally well-organised affair, with a number of hot options (including smashed avocado on toasted muffin) swiftly delivered. Cereal options were somewhat limited (no porridge or weetabix), likewise fruit (only fresh apples - for which the supplied knives were barely suited), and  tea and coffee was from vacuum flasks at the buffet table, and, on our visit, could have been rather warmer.

After a number of disappointments at budget (and less-budget) hotels since the start of Covid it was refreshing to go somewhere that the staff seemed to, generally, know what customers are looking for. For the price we paid it was excellent value. Great Dunmow isn’t exactly a place that a lot of people go, or that we are likely to go to again soon (my previous visit there, to the Saracens Head - just the bar - was over forty years ago), but we’d be very happy to stay there again should the need for accommodation in the area arise. 

***

The proprietors of other hotels offering B&B for something like £80 per night - or room only for £60 - should visit the Saracens Head to see what their guests should be able to expect. I hope the Saracens Head continues to do well. 

The Gainsborough House Hotel, Kidderminster

 

Kidderminster - The Gainsborough House Hotel

Bewdley Hill, Kidderminster DY11 6BS

February  2022

 

I can’t remember how many times I’ve been to Kidderminster. My father and stepmother moved there nearly thirty years ago; he died in 2006, she last year. I’ve an inkling as to why they chose it as a place to retire; it's not everyone's idea of an ideal location to live out one’s final years, and I have to say I don’t find the town has much to offer, but I’m an executor of my stepmother's estate, so have to travel down there every few weeks at the moment, and took my partner with me. 

The closest hotel to the family property has always been the Gainsborough, on Bewdley Hill. I’ve stayed there before, three or four times perhaps, most recently though over ten years ago; it used to be such a welcoming place, with a good restaurant, weddings every weekend, and even what I could describe as a sexy atmosphere - down to the flirtatious and divorced aunt-of-the-bride in the bar who’s up for some fun with a man staying on his own. More recently, the more modern Premier Inn has been our choice in the town, but we thought we’d try the Gainsborough again for a recent visit. Following it, though, we’ll probably revert to the Premier Inn next time.

***

The hotel’s website warned that evening meals were not available at the time of our visit, but seemed to imply that breakfast was. Knowing the area a bit I wasn’t too worried about having to go out to find supper (even a bus or taxi over to Bewdley to go to ‘Spoons was an option) but breakfast was a selling point - we didn’t want to spend ages looking for food in the morning when we could be sorting out the business to be attended to.

We arrived bang on the time I’d suggested when I booked. The place was quiet. Very quiet, it had all the atmosphere of an undertaker’s in an empty town. It used to be busy, with a pleasant aroma emanating from the restaurant, and the function room and bar busy. None seemed to be in use now. Reception was manned seemingly by the only member of staff on duty - a middle aged suited man. I gave him our details and the formalities were performed. ‘We haven’t booked breakfast, we’d like it tomorrow please’, I asked. 

‘We don’t do breakfast’, came the reply. I was then handed a list of places where, apparently, we might be able to obtain dinner or breakfast. 

‘Not much of a hotel’, I thought. 

We made our way to our room, around the rather curious gloomy corridors that result from the way the hotel was extended perhaps forty years ago. Redecoration and better lighting would improve it significantly.  Breakfast, we decided, wouldn’t be too much of a problem; there's a Tesco mini-mart next door, at the Esso petrol station, and we opted to get instant porridge, juice and croissants there, which would fit the bill nicely. 

For what we were paying - £150 for two nights - the room was OK. The decor was unchanged (apart from fading somewhat) from the time I stayed there fifteen years ago. Faded indeed describes it well, the room we had wouldn’t be the place to take a prospective partner for a much-anticipated night of romance and passion. The atmosphere was decidedly cool, the heating having not been on, and the lighting was more up to a drunken night with someone you’d rather forget than facilitating the savouring of every visual and sensual moment with the lover of your dreams.  The walls and paintwork were past their best, stains had developed on the grouting of the tiled floor and around the hinge in the ensuite, and much of the gloss paint in the ensuite was not the colour it was when applied, obviously many years ago. 

The room did have plenty of storage, a full length mirror, iron and ironing board, and heating controls for the aircon/fan heater - these, however, we couldn’t work out how to operate. (A radiator would have been my preference.)  Also, from the window, we enjoyed only a view of the back of a wall: we could just about see over it into the car park, if we tried. There was half of a door chain on to provide security; the other half would have been useful. 

The ensuite did have a shaver socket - something that was common in the nineties, but often now seems to be left out (perhaps for cost reasons?) in hotel room design. There was, however, only a tiny bar of soap to meet the needs of the two of us for two nights. Fortunately, Tesco next door sold soap. There were only two towels for us; normally I’d expect a hand towel and bath towel each. Also lacking in the ensuite was any significant form of heating - it was February, after all, and a hook on which you might hang whatever clothing you needed to put to one side while you did whatever you had entered the ensuite to do. The thermostatic cartridge in the shower tap was obviously well past its best, not only was it barely possible to get a constant temperature from it, but also at the stop point (supposed to be set to body temperature) it dispensed only cold water.

One thing I did like in the ensuite was the heated mirror: as things steamed up in there, an area of the mirror behind the basin remained clear. It was a shame that whoever had fitted it hadn’t sealed the mirror edges with nail varnish (or similar) to stop condensation there getting to the silvering; but then, the whole bathroom is well due for a refit anyway. 

***

In the evening we found a few problems with the room. The lighting was, as seems often to be the case, quite poor; there were only dim, and not enough, lights to properly see what you’re looking at. The flatscreen TV was in a curious position: wall mounted, about three feet up from the floor, opposite the end of the bed. ‘They must have penny pinched on the cable and trunking when they fitted it’, I decided. The TV did, however, have a good range of digital channels - certainly all of the freeview ones I tried - and they seemed to be on the correct channel numbers.   

Our overnight experience was so-so, perhaps as you might expect for the price. The air heating made the air very dry, as a result neither of us slept that well. Turning the heating off resulted in it becoming quite cold, the thin duvet not being up to keeping us warm on a cool February night.

I didn’t see or hear much sign of other guests staying at the Gainsborough - no muffled voices coming from the corridor, sounds of ecstasy from a neighbouring room, car movements outside, or sounds of doors being closed in the morning. I did hear sounds suggesting a lone occupant was in the next room on our first night, but none on the second. A lack of customer presence usually indicates a business isn’t meeting customer expectations; ‘maybe’, I thought, ‘I am not the only person to feel the way I do about the place’. 

Overall, this stay at the Gainsborough wasn’t an experience I shall look back on fondly. It was in a period when the world was still rather obsessed with Covid, so some issues - like the signs everywhere asking you to wear a mask (why - when there’s no one else around?) are excusable. But it badly needs an injection of money, energy, and ideas. 

***

Unsurprisingly, I’ve heard this hotel is up for sale. There are no doubt reasons for this - many customers may feel like me, that they’d much rather stay at the Premier Inn in town. The new owners will either need deep pockets to do a complete refurb, and some good publicity, or have plans to convert it - perhaps to a care home. I don’t believe there is sufficient demand for this sort of hotel as it is in this area for the business to generate a profit. It's not a place that I can recommend until something is done with it.

I still have fond memories of that night with the aunt of the bride many years ago, by the way.