Alnmouth - The Whittling House
Northumberland Street, Alnmouth, NE66 2RA
October 2022
Alnmouth must be one of England’s prettiest villages: it’s up there with Finchingfield, Clovelly and Robin Hood's Bay. It's got a wide, sandy beach, a river, an old bridge, and buildings centuries old, many high up offering good views out over the coast or estuary. It's also easily seen by thousands of travellers a day, passing a mile or so away on the East Coast main railway, between Edinburgh and Newcastle. It even has its own station, but that’s in another village - Hipsburn.
Between Hipsburn and Alnmouth lies the river Aln, and an ancient, narrow bridge over which cars, taxis and buses ferrying people into Alnmouth must travel slowly. I originally thought that this must be because of a weight restriction on the bridge; I am now not so sure. I think there might be some kind of ‘sanity warp’ there; once you cross the bridge you are expected to become stupid, and to accept poor service in businesses when you wouldn’t anywhere else. High prices and low standards seem to be problems with many businesses in Alnmouth, according to reviews; our experience was at The Whittling House, where we stayed for two nights.
I’d better put my cards on the table. The BnB rate we were being charged there, through Booking.com, was £200 a night for two people in a room with a king-sized bed. That’s three times what we paid in a small hotel in Essex back in March, which we felt provided a very good offering. We were hence expecting great things at The Whittling House.
If you wonder how I came to that view, you should, of course, note that I used to co-own a 4 star BnB, accredited by Visit England. I like to think I know what to expect in guest accommodation.
***
After arriving by taxi around three thirty, we found check in to be a bit confusing. I spoke to a couple of members of staff before one knew what to do, going to find a senior person. After that member of staff was found, she led us up the not entirely impressive stairs to a room at the front of the building to the first floor. I say not entirely impressive: the carpet was quite worn, and not showing the degree of cleanliness I’d expect in an establishment charging £200 a night. It might be that their welcoming attitude to canine guests was a factor in the condition of the stair carpet. The stairwell was, perhaps, rather poky, with a fire door halfway up.
The landing was somewhat dim, and almost cramped: there were no occasional tables or chairs, not even space for them. Entering the room beyond reminded me of listening to a budget on the radio many years ago, when Dennis Skinner MP cried ‘Is that it?’ after the chancellor had given a much shorter speech than expected. It was probably not much more than four metres square (that’s just over a metre each way larger than the minimum required for a double room to get even a one star rating under Visit England’s assessment scheme), with a carpet similar to, but a little cleaner and less worn than, that on the stairs, a king size bed, and a huge TV screen on the opposite wall, above a flimsy table - right where a dressing table mirror should be. As I had expected, stylish pictures adorned the walls, and interesting books were on a shelf high up - somewhat out of reach of my 5 foot 4 inch tall partner, on top of a cupboard: tea and coffee stuff was on a tray therein. We were, we realised, expected to put the kettle on the floor, by a socket, to boil water for tea. The safety risks involved in that concerned me: people can trip over things on the floor, and things full of hot water can be nasty…
Further, the kettle was empty. I have heard folks say that a kettle in a BnB should be empty when you enter, for hygiene: those people have never spoken to a fire officer. A dry electric kettle, plugged in and switched on, can be spectacular: one on a carpeted floor probably calamitous. A fire is surely the last thing the proprietors want: that kettle should have had half an inch of clean water in it. (If guests don’t like that, they can always chuck it away; if they complain, the proprietor could do what I did once, and take an empty kettle into the back yard, and in front of the concerned guest, plug it in and let them watch what happens …)
The only thing in the room to sit on, other than the bed, was a sort of pouffe thing. Visit England used to recommend one chair for each guest, and a separate table; they also require a dressing table, with mirror, even to award one star. As it was, there was nowhere I might sit and dry my hair in front of a mirror, using the hairdryer provided. There was a narrow, oval-shaped full length mirror, tucked away in the corner, almost behind the curtain - just about adequate to check your clothes before going out somewhere.
The room had clearly been refurbished within the past year or two: it seemed a shame that those in charge of the design seemed to not know what customers of accommodation businesses look for. There were no drawers in which to put our socks and undies - only shelves in that cupboard, and they were mostly taken up with the tea and coffee stuff. There were no bedside cabinets, only large, perhaps ‘artistic’ blocks of wood - so not much space to put specs, glass of water, phone and book overnight. (There was also no Gideon bible - perhaps because there was no space for one; I wondered if guests might actually need a bit of comfort, after shelling out £200 for a night for that room …!)
After dark we, of course, needed the lights on. The inset spots in the ceiling, and the two bedside lamps, were not well placed to illuminate the inside of the cupboard where the tea and coffee were: it was a good job I had a torch with me, although, when not using it, I had to leave it on the windowsill - there was no space anywhere else. We also wanted to open a window - it was a touch warm, perhaps due to the log burners blazing in the rooms below. The windows were uPVC framed replacements for wooden sashes, only the top half opened. One window was tricky to open, the other wouldn’t at all.
Puzzling over the lack of space, I noted that the radiator was in the wrong place: by the wall opposite the window, rather than under it. It wouldn’t surely have taken much to move it during the refurbishment, and would have given more options for furniture, perhaps a small chest where we could have put stuff and for making tea and coffee.
***
At the price I had expected a luxury ensuite, with a large bath, possibly a hot tub, and maybe a TV I could watch from the bath. That provided, basically half of the small room that was once between our room and the next, was only a little larger than the average Premier Inn bathroom, with a tiled shower that, strangely, had the drain at the end of the tray away from the shower fittings, beside the opening in the screen. There was no door to the shower enclosure. A consequence of this strange design must be occasional overflow, for the adjacent decor showed significant signs of damage. There were also no grab rails for use in, or when exiting from, the shower.
There was also damaged plaster around the mirror above the basin: this was suspended by a chain from a single screw, so it could swing freely - and clearly, often did. The mirror was also too low for me to see the reflection of my face without stooping - and I’m not likely to have been the tallest customer they’ll ever see, I’m well under six foot. On the basin itself, the vintage-style taps looked good, but the hot one seemed to need to be turned the wrong way to what I expected - resulting in a few splashy moments when water came gushing out at a great rate when I expected it to stop. The shower head was also of vintage style: the water just came out vertically. That might be by design, to avoid damage to the adjacent decor, but I like shower water to come out at a bit of an angle.
Four containers - of soap, shampoo, conditioner and body lotion - were provided for us to use in the shower. They were all white, with quite small wording. I’ve never had to wear reading glasses in the shower before to check which container is which: I suspect the designers of these products have not yet reached the age when they need such things. What there wasn’t was a shelf in the shower to put the shampoo, conditioner, etc on when showering.
Looking upwards in the ensuite I noted the extractor fan, complete with a goodly collection of dust, fluff and the like - debris left by previous customers. It takes only a couple of seconds to wave a hoover nozzle at the fan when doing a full clean: the cleaners may never have been told how important it is to do it.
Doing other things in the ensuite it became apparent that the loo seat wouldn’t stay in the up position of its own accord: you had to hold it up. Fortunately I have reasonably full use of both hands and arms, a man able only to use one would have a problem.
One thing that was good in the room was the bed: firm, and with a mattress that has clearly not been in use for too long. The two different pillows did provide options for head comfort, and the duvet was large, and thick. If anything, it was too thick: the room was warm in the early half of the night (perhaps due to heat still convecting up from the log burners below); I struggled to sleep.
In the morning I tried to open the curtains fully. I only then realised that the curtain pole was a couple of feet short: the curtains were quite heavy, so required quite some space when hanging open, and could not hang open and leave the window wholly unobstructed.
***
Meals were of good quality, as they should have been, at the price. Breakfast was, of course, included. Dinner wasn’t, and a modest but excellent dinner, with a bottle of wine and a couple of whisky aperitifs (they didn’t have any dry sherry?) came to £116. Service was good, attentive but not intrusive.
Breakfast service on one morning was good, the other very slow; the waitress clearly needed more training (she didn’t even write down our orders). The actual meal was good, as expected.
***
The most surreal moment during our stay was at check out. I asked for my bill: they couldn’t provide one. ‘It will be emailed to you’, the receptionist told me. (At time of writing I have yet to receive it.) I had given a credit card when checking in online to charge things to, so assumed the dinner I’d put on the room bill would be charged to that. I wasn’t happy about leaving and not knowing what had been charged, though - I vaguely recall something about it being a legal requirement on a business (for VAT reasons) to provide an itemised invoice if a customer asks for one, and I have had problems with things charged to my room at other hotels, in the past - but we had a taxi booked and seats on a train leaving the station at eleven.
Perhaps fortunately (for them), the taxi was a few minutes late. I was fretting about where it was when the receptionist came out and told me I had to pay the £116 dinner bill now. They had a card reader there, ready, so I got my card out and did the honours - but the lasting impression this has left me with is that staff at the business don’t know what they are doing.
I did later remember that the card I had defined at check-in might have gone through Booking.com, and maybe staff might be encouraged to charge customers directly, rather than recover charges through the website - to whom they may need to pay commission. The commission fees charged by Booking.com are, I believe, between 10% and 25%.
***
I’ve flicked through a couple of other reviews on Tripadvisor and Booking.com since my stay and others have commented on some of the points I’ve raised - although perhaps no-one has gone into such detail. It's notable that nothing has been done since to address the issues they raised. Many reviews, especially on Booking.com, talk in glowing terms of the accommodation and meals provided: I find it hard to think that none of them were sent away without a printed copy of their bill, and they did not think twice about it: surely that is something most people expect when staying away somewhere?
If the Whittling House had charged us perhaps £100 per night I might not have felt as disappointed as I do. £200 is a high room rate: I am sure some people pay it, but you only have to look at other reviews to see that I am not alone in thinking they are charging too much.
For a room rate of £200 we should, arguably, have had, over and above what we did have, in our room:
Two armchairs, and a small table
An in room folder containing instructions (for the coffee maker, for example), menus, local information and details on how to get in at night
A dressing table with a mirror, and power point adjacent for hairdryer
Bedside cabinets
A chest of drawers in which to put our clothes
A proper tea and coffee station
Low light lamps by the bed
Windows that both opened
A clock
Curtains that opened back completely beyond the edge of the window
Lighting that illuminated the inside of the wardrobe/cupboard
A shower with grab handles for safety
A loo seat that stayed up
An over-basin mirror at which I did not have to stoop to see my face in
Unblemished plasterwork in the ensuite
A bath
Maybe TV in the bathroom
A clean extractor fan in the bathroom
Toiletries I can identify when showering without needing to don my reading glasses
A shelf or basket in the shower for toiletries
I could go on. Irrespective of cost, I should have been provided with an itemised invoice when I asked for one (it is a legal requirement for VAT purposes); and my experience on this is not unique - I found another review, from a couple of months ago, on Tripadvisor where the customer had not been provided with an invoice. The problem at that time should have been acted upon and any recurrence prevented: the VAT man could be quite unsympathetic to this sort of failing. It is possible that issues - such as non working computer printers - are not being recorded or fixed properly.
It may be that, at some point in the past, the proprietors engaged interior designers to squeeze as many letting rooms into their property as possible, and these designers had little experience of the expectations of high-end travellers. That’s a mistake if you are playing at that end of the market: customers paying £200 a night expect plenty of space and room to relax. One or two of the problems - the invoicing, and the kettle - are basic and should be hugely embarrassing.
The Whittling House, like many independent hospitality businesses these days, does not seem to be accredited in any way. This rather explains their mistakes. Once, businesses had to be inspected annually to get a rating before they could be advertised; the internet has done away with that, and poor quality is what we all get as a result. I’ve stayed in five other independent, unaccredited accommodation businesses in the last year: one was very good value (that one in Essex, which had lots of local competition from chain hotels), the other four - like the Whittling House - were not, for various reasons.
There are people out there who will pay high prices for rubbish and walk around thinking they are better than anyone else because they pay high prices; they don’t realise they are being conned and laughed at, and are encouraging disreputable businesses to take advantage of the inexperienced. Those of us who do feel we are being overcharged need to call it out, and encourage overpricing businesses to change their ways. I’m not saying the proprietors of The Whittling House are deliberately ripping people off - I think there is a lot about the accommodation business they don’t know - but they must surely realise they are punching their luck at £200 a night.
The proprietors may well have experience mostly in the food side of the business and might be relatively new to accommodation; they should therefore, in my opinion, update themselves on Visit England’s standards (ref. 1), the Pink Book (ref. 2), and relevant legislation on matters such as invoicing (ref. 3)). They should also look at what the likes of Premier Inn provide, in rooms often less than half the price we paid, and improve on their staff training. They’ll need to be prepared to learn, and make changes.
Would I stay again? Only if there are clear signs of improvement and more reasonable room rates.
References
1. Visit England Guest Accomodation Quality Standards https://www.visitenglandassessmentservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Guest-Accommodation-Quality-Standards.pdf
2. The Pink Book: Legislation for Tourist Accomodation and Attractions, published by Visit Britain. https://www.visitbritain.org/business-advice/buy-pink-book
3. Invoicing and taking payment from customers https://www.gov.uk/invoicing-and-taking-payment-from-customers/invoices-what-they-must-include
