What I look for in a BnB

My expectations of a BnB or hotel 

First, the things I expect, or want, and the reason why:

Public Liability Insurance	It may not be visible, I may not ask about it, but I do expect the proprietor to have full cover for any risks that I might encounter on his premises. Visit England won’t grant any form of accreditation without it. I also suspect that many small accommodation businesses, that rely upon the internet for business, may not have appropriate cover.
A good fire / safety risk assessment	Another thing VE requires; I expect a host to have considered potential situations that might cause me harm, and to have done what he can to mitigate them. I don’t expect it to be visible, but it could be mentioned in the in-room information folder (see below).
Easy access to my room	I don’t want to have to carry my stuff up narrow, uneven stairs or - as I have seen on one instance - up a ladder - to my room. If I’m not very mobile I will want to be told about any access issues when I book.
A lock on the door of my room, lockable from outside and in. A card system is ideal, but ordinary keys will do.	There are BnBs where the hosts say that ‘they like to feel they run a business where people feel safe without locks on the doors’. I don’t know how they would stand if a guest had a valuable item stolen from their room, and I can recall one case, in a BnB where guest rooms had locks but the proprietor’s didn’t, the lady of the house was alone in the property with one or more guests, one of whom decided, in the middle of the night, that he fancied some intimate female company and went off to find the landlady’s bedroom. She had to fight him off.  No matter how noble the ideal may be, there are mad people out there, and, as a guest at a BnB, I want to feel safe in my room. Locks on bedroom doors are essential. I want to be able to lock my door and keep my key with me when I go out, so I know no-one unauthorised will enter my room.
A ceiling at least 2.1m above the floor throughout the room, and a room that otherwise complies with all building, fire, wiring and plumbing regulations	Building regulations allow 50% of the ceiling in a room with a sloping ceiling to be below 2.1m, but I don’t want to develop a hunchback. I expect wiring and plumbing to be safe; I have stayed a number of times in rooms where the taps are plumbed in the wrong way round (should be cold on the right); I don’t want to burn myself on hot water in the middle of the night. At one time BnBs were required to have a secondary staircase / fire escape if they sold accommodation above the first floor; if I was offered a room at this level I would expect there to be one.
An ensuite	No, I don’t want to wander largely undressed down a dark, unfamiliar passage in the middle of the night when I need a pee. Neither do other customers want this when I stub my toe and shout out a few appropriate words.
Plenty of hanging and drawer space, empty apart from good quality hangars and possibly an iron and laundry bag	You should have six hangers per person, made of wood or strong, shaped plastic, not wire or cheap plastic ones that the host found in the skip behind ASDA. Guests need to have space to hang their coats, jackets, trousers, shirts and the like. Think about how much someone will bring with them for, say, a four night stay: they will want to store it properly, not keep it in their suitcase. Cupboards and drawers should not contain any personal items or clothes belonging to the proprietor: remember, the guest is entitled to use anything the proprietor leaves accessible in their room.
Good hospitality tray in my room	I don’t expect huge numbers of coffee sachets or tea bags but I do expect some options - decaf coffee, green tea, and some biscuits, together with a note explaining how to get some more. It doesn’t take long for a couple to drink six cups of tea between them.
In-room information folder outlining facilities of establishment, menus, meal times, details of any local restaurants, instructions for TV and heating, up-to-date TV channel listing, local attractions / facilities etc.	I’ve more than once stayed at a hotel that I had assumed didn’t do food, only to find out later that it did; and instructions for some facilities might save the staff from having to answer queries, or having to resolve a maladjustment.
Good lighting - in the ceiling centre, at the bedside, and at any table; also in the ensuite, including by a mirror	There is a fashion for reducing electricity usage, but guests should not be expected to bring a torch so that they can see to untie their shoelaces. Hosts have a duty under the Equality Act to allow for aging and disabilities, and older people need more light than youngsters.  I also have a suspicion that poor lighting is sometimes used as a trick to try to hide poor cleaning; if the lighting isn’t good enough to see, for certain, that a room is clean, I will presume it isn’t. A mirror is needed in the ensuite - the host won’t want me to cut myself shaving, I may bleed profusely all over his towels etc.
Windows that are clean outside and in	Poor cleaning of windows reduces the available light, and shows a lack of respect to guests. It's not rocket science to have outside windows cleaned every month or so, and the insides once a week, yet I have stayed at one business twice: on the first occasion, there was obvious, easy to clean dirt on the inside of the window. It was still there on my second visit, nine months later - AFTER the covid lockdown when tourism businesses were supposedly offering ‘enhanced cleaning’.
Two chairs and space to use them (in a double room - one is ok in a single)	A couple staying will want to sit to put on their shoes, or perhaps to read, or even eat or watch TV. The bed is not sufficient for this.
A TV, offering a good selection of channels (Freeview or Freesat, for example), of a size and in a position where I can see it from the bed and chair. It doesn’t have to have a huge screen, and should, when switched on, be on the same channel it was on when I previously switched it off.	I don’t want to see a TV channel about the hotel; I would like standard channels, including radio, where I can find them. (I often like to have the radio on quietly overnight - it's quite common, you know.)
A hairdryer, suitable to use in front of a mirror - perhaps the dressing table (see below)	I may want to dry my hair after a shower, and, if I am going somewhere smart, may want to be careful that I style it correctly.
A dressing table with mirror to do makeup	I have it on authority that you can’t do makeup in a bathroom mirror, especially if your other half is using it to shave at the same time.
A loo I can use	I have, on more than one occasion, encountered a loo tucked under the eaves in an ensuite. The architect obviously thought it a good idea, or perhaps he didn’t like his client - he may have realised that men would not be able to get close enough to use the loo standing, causing likely overspray on the floor.
A safe shower large enough to shave my legs	Similarly, a good proportion of the population likes to have smooth legs, to achieve which they need to balance and manoeuvre inside the shower cubicle, probably using a grab rail to balance. It's surprising how many BnB showers have been fitted without taking this into account - a builder has been consulted, and offered to do a job as cheap as possible. Needless to say, the builder has never tried shaving his legs in that style of shower. It's also surprising how many BnB showers (or baths, with shower over) do not have grab rails. Falls in the shower are common and could result in injury, not having a grab rail could leave the proprietor at risk of a claim.
The following done in my room every day: Bathroom cleaned and tidied Towels tidied or replaced Bed made Bins emptied Surfaces dusted or wiped Tea, coffee and soap replenished Also the floor and soft furnishings vacuumed at least every other day; sheets and towels changed at least every fourth	The covid pandemic brought on a fashion among proprietors for not servicing rooms; I don’t think they have ever stayed in a hotel room for five or six days and seen how much rubbish can be produced.  It's an insult to the guest to expect them to clean their own room. Also, it is only by the rooms being serviced that the host can discover any problem in the room (like the shower being slow to drain - see below).
Carpet on all bedroom floors, vinyl or tiles on the bathroom one	Wooden floors may be fashionable but they are noisy. They are not the slightest bit suitable for use in hotel or BnB rooms where the soundproofing benefits of carpet provide a much better surface (especially if Saniflos are used - see below), even if the carpets need vacuuming and cleaning frequently. Some hosts perhaps realise that flooring in a hotel room will have a hard life, and consequently go for a hard floor instead: they, then, should sleep in the room underneath someone walking to and from their loo every five minutes through the night.
Peace, quiet and privacy, and a competent host who gives me space	I may be staying in the host’s business but I don’t want to experience his, or his staff’s, presence any more than is necessary. I’d expect to see them at check in, at reception if I have any queries, at breakfast to take my order, serve, and do a checkback, and at checkout. I realise I may encounter them when they are servicing my or someone else’s room.  But if I am idling my way in or out of the property I am not particularly keen on being kept in conversation while the host tells me the history of his family and everything that has ever happened to him; if I were interested in that, I’d ask.  If there is something wrong that I think the host may be able to help with I will ask, believe me.
Good, sensible options for breakfast, served promptly, in a clean environment that doesn’t smell of stale beer, with a good variety of drinks available.	I expect a cooked breakfast to be available - business travellers often don’t get to eat from breakfast until maybe 7pm. I expect some options - perhaps beans on toast - for those with a lighter appetite, as well as some ‘continental’ options.  I don’t mind pre-ordering, but - if working - I expect my cooked breakfast to be served more or less when I finish my cereal. Some BnBs even cook sausages to order - which must take twenty minutes or so. Busy businessmen can’t wait that long for their breakfast. If the establishment is a pub, and breakfast is served in a bar, it must be thoroughly cleaned, aired and warmed following closure; there is nothing less tempting in the morning than the smell of last night’s spilt beer.
A comfortable bed no smaller than a standard double, with a duvet that covers the sides well, adequate pillows and a clean headboard.	This will usually mean a fairly new mattress; 8 years is supposed to be the life of a mattress in ordinary use. BnB beds and furniture get a hard life, and mattresses will most likely need replacing every five years; an old, saggy mattress will not give me a good night's sleep. If a double, it should not be two singles fixed together. The duvet needs to be of good quality and capable of keeping me warm, the pillows, perhaps one firmer and one softer, should support my head. If the headboard is fixed to the wall the bed must not move away from it, leaving a gap down which I can drop my book, phone or glasses. The bed should NOT be under the eaves of an attic room - I like to stand up, not crouch, to get in and out of bed.
Plenty of accessible power points - perhaps at desk-top height - including at least one above each bedside table to charge a phone overnight.	I want my phone beside me at night. I may need to charge it at the same time: a single socket at skirting board height behind the bed - requiring me to crawl among the dust underneath it - is not desirable at all.
A full length mirror	I may want to see what I look like in a special outfit, say, before a job interview or a family party. A bathroom or dressing table mirror won’t do.
A hook in the bathroom for my robe	Budget hotels, or the sort of place that serves mostly contractors, may not feel the investment of a couple of quid per room to be necessary. But I want to leave my jacket, or robe, hung up when I use the facilities in the ensuite - I don’t want to have to leave them on a possibly wet floor!
Good ventilation and heating	I expect to be comfortable; and, at the time I want to be comfortable. Having heating coming on at 7am may suit some, but if I want to get up at six and have a shower then, I want to be warm then. I also expect windows to open; aircon may be fashionable, but it doesn’t provide fresh air. If a proprietor wishes to provide aircon I don’t mind signs on the window saying ‘please shut the window if the aircon is on’, but I want opening windows.
A bedside table for each person	Some architects - and hosts - think a twin room means two single beds either side of a single bedside cabinet, with walls on the outer side of each bed. They should be forced to share such a room with someone who wants to have a book, a phone, their glasses, a drink, a picture of their nearest and dearest and a cup and saucer on their bedside table! Twin rooms may be used by people who are not intimately connected: both guests should have a bedside cabinet. The only time a bedside cabinet may not be needed would be for a child’s bed, perhaps, in a family room.
Space for my luggage	Some architects (or hosts) think that a room for a BnB needs to be no larger than the typical domestic bedroom. There is scope for debate on that, whatever you do have in your bedroom at home you probably won’t have a couple of suitcases with you. Whether on top of a wardrobe, or in a space by the door, there needs to be space for a couple of decent size cases, a few pairs of shoes, and possibly a walking stick or even a stroller for the less mobile. In the bathroom there needs to be space for a couple of wash bags and some of the contents laid out ready for use.
Individual tables at breakfast	I’m awkward. I'm often grumpy in the morning, and I don’t want to talk smalltalk with strangers while waiting for my egg on toast. Not everyone gets on; smoking is nowadays verboten in breakfast rooms, but I remember problems arising because of different views between guests on smoking at the table. Providing small tables - 2 and 4 seaters - for breakfast is far preferable to one, large table in the middle of the room.

Note - a pleasant view from the window of my room helps, but is by no means essential: I don’t expect to spend hours looking out at it. Much of the time I’ll be in it it’ll be dark.

And the things I don’t want, and again why:

Cigarette ends or other litter discarded around entrances to the property	It's likely that some guests to any BnB will want to smoke. But they should be guided to a smoking shelter or somewhere similar, and provided with ashtrays; any butts left around entrances should be cleaned up daily, for mess around entrances is a sign not only of guests who don’t care but also of staff who don’t care.
Creatures of any sort in my room	Some people will find cats or dogs charming; I am tempted to, until I find evidence of other creatures, perhaps fleas, in my bed or on my clothing. I will not stay in a BnB that allows untrained (i.e. pet, rather than assistance) dogs in the room, and the same applies to cats. Establishments that admit pets have to be rigorous with their cleaning practices - making much use of a steamer on the soft furnishings - and I don’t believe that most animal-loving proprietors will understand just how much cleaning is needed to be sure you are rid of any fleas or eggs.  Oh, if I find a bed bug, or signs of rats, mice, cockroaches or anything like that in my room or anywhere on the premises it will reveal to me that the host is failing to keep on top of basic cleaning and hygiene tasks, and a sign that the establishment is to be avoided.
Mouldy,dirty or damaged decor in room or bathroom	I once stayed in an (internet-booked) hotel room that had inch thick encrustations of pigeon droppings on the inside windowsill. Just one night, many years ago. I’m now wiser, and would demand a refund and walk out if a host thought such a standard to be acceptable. I’ve also stayed in another - now demolished - place where the pull cord in the ensuite was filthy (the cord that turns the light out when people leave having used the loo, and having possibly washed their hands). I bought a new one in the local shop for a pound and fitted it. It took three minutes. Why hadn’t the proprietor done that? If the host doesn’t care about the environment he offers his guests to sleep in he shouldn’t be in business.
Noisy machinery between 10pm and 7am	I want to sleep during that time, not listen to air conditioning or refrigeration fans, heavy metal or disco music, overtired children attending a family wedding party, the local motorcycle club doing night practice for the TT, municipal or privatised dustmen (sorry dust operatives), the local scrapyard doing overtime, or (see below) Saniflos. Or anything else. Where there is a risk of distant or internal noise appropriate soundproofing measures should be taken.
Heating, TV or kettle that can’t be controlled	I’m paying to be comfortable. I don’t want the hassle of getting something to work properly; I may seek help from the host, but that, in itself, is a hassle I won’t feel I should have to go through.
Unreliable hot or cold water in the bathroom	The water system needs to be up to the job. I want hot and cold at decent pressure no matter who else is using their taps. I also expect the shower thermostat to work; such cartridges only last a few years, the cleaners should check every month or so that they seem to be working - no sudden jump from hot to cold, or vice versa.
Anything that doesn’t work	If something is in my room I should be able to use it. If it doesn’t work I can’t and therefore it shouldn’t be in my room; a working version should be.
Frayed or loose carpets or other slip or trip hazards	I want to leave the establishment at least as fit and healthy as I enter it.
Bodges	Beds held up by nailed-on battens, windows screwed shut because of broken sash cords, shower heads held in place with wire - none are examples of care and attention on the part of the host.
A Saniflo - in my bathroom or anywhere in the property	Saniflos are the devil’s work. People think they can buy a big house, plumb in loos everywhere with these things, and they’ve got a building suitable to run a BnB. They break down, leave debris in the loo, and, worst of all, make a noise every time they pump out waste, including at 3am, and, because they are heavy, are usually fixed to the fabric of the building so everyone gets to hear them! Loos should be drained by proper vented soil pipes and should drain silently and efficiently.
Any musty smell in my room or bathroom	If there’s a smell of damp there’s damp. I don’t want my clothes feeling damp, or experience any of the sort visitors - slugs, snails, woodlice, cockroaches - you might get in a damp room.
Dirty extractor fan inlets	Extractor fans gather dust. Hotel or BnB rooms are occupied more than an ordinary bedroom, so they get dustier quicker than many seem to expect, and are often disgusting. It takes two seconds to wave a vacuum cleaner hose at the outlet to remove the worst of it, and only a minute or two - with the fan switched off - to clean one of these properly, which should probably be done once a month or so.  A dirty extractor fan inlet is a sign that cleaners are not paying enough attention to detail; either they have no clear procedures to follow, or the procedures are inadequate, or they aren’t following them. And if the obvious muck isn’t being cleaned, what about the less obvious?
Dirty shower or basin traps, basin or shower draining slowly	These too are easy to clean - and should be kept clean to ensure they drain properly. Waiting for a shower tray to overflow - causing possible damage - is not the best way to spot when a shower trap needs cleaning out, and guests do not like a host knocking on their door while they are in the shower, just to be asked to turn off the shower because it's overflowing into the room below. That has happened to me (I didn’t realise it was overflowing, I don’t wear my glasses in the shower!), the hotel concerned is now under different management (but I still probably wouldn’t stay there again).

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The awkward wanderer

 

I’m the awkward wanderer!

The world is not what it used to be. Politicians, and the elite, like us to think it is better, that the second half of the twentieth century was a shambolic mess of racism, bullying and exploitation. We’re told, through the media - both social and mainstream - that we’ve never had it so good, and that a wonderful future awaits us if we go along with all of the ideas that the elite suggest. Shamefully, our children are taught this at school, and our universities have become environments where challenging discussion is prohibited, on the grounds that someone might be offended. There is even a government unit - SPI-B - to help ‘nudge’ us into believing what the government wants us to believe.

Our elite, perhaps personalised worst by that vile couple the Windsors, who prefer to style themselves in their far off lair as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have little idea what life is like for ‘normal’ people. We know how to manage our health. We know what we want from our public services. Yet we are being subjected to more and more restrictions, soon, perhaps to include travel restrictions to ‘prevent global warming’, while they swan around in their private jets and staying in hotels or apartments that cost more per night than you or I might earn in a year. 

I’m intent on questioning the fundamental assumption that things are better today than they used to be. Like many, I experience incompetence of businesses and government, both local and national, on a daily basis; I see how the great ideas of ‘the elite’, like the dominance of the internet, have resulted in poorer service to customers, while no doubt increasing profit to the ‘entrepreneurs’ who provide those internet services.

I spent thirty-six years working in business, latterly as a project manager. I can’t use much from that experience to demonstrate the failings of the ‘elite’, but I did spend much time travelling on business, much by rail, and I also learned much about the obligations of businesses and managers to the safety and wellbeing of their employees, customers and the general public - i.e. non-elite persons. I owned a B and B for ten years; my ex-wife worked in the care sector and I’ve been in more hospitals and care homes than I have toes, fingers and other projections on which to count them. I’ve walked England from east to west and south to north (Mablethorpe, Morecambe, Langstone, Bowness on Solway to be precise); I currently live in Bedfordshire, that is, the outer part of the south-east that is so misunderstood and despised by the metropolitan elite. I’ve also lived and worked in Yorkshire for ten years - an interesting experience for a southerner, anyone who thinks that discrimination on grounds of where you come from is about skin colour should try it. I’m sixty-two years old. I’ve worked in the UK, Ireland and Germany; I’m reasonably capable in the German language, and perhaps French as well. I have experience; a quality our leaders prefer to ignore, chasing vainly after the approval of fresh-faced youth, contrary to both common sense and the behaviours of our forefathers down the generations. So in this blog I’ll use my experience to ask awkward questions about life in modern society - travelling, staying in accommodation businesses, walking around towns or countryside - which I feel that we, as paying customers (or taxpayers) are entitled to ask, and our masters should be prepared to answer. 

I am also a carer, and write the ‘Thoughts of a carer’ blog. My partner, Viv, had a bad experience with her health a few years ago (now the subject of a negligence claim, so I don’t say much about it); I spent eighteen months looking after her when she was in a very disabled condition. She has improved but retains some cognitive and physical disabilities, and I have recorded many of my caring experiences on that blog; in this one I shall cover non-care related matters.

Prior to Vivs illness, I used to do a lot of online reviews - particularly on Tripadvisor. By 2016 I lost interest in doing any more; TA were moving into selling accommodation rather than just reporting on it, and businesses sprung up in the virtual world where businesses can buy their own five-star reviews; googling ‘buy online reviews’ returns 10 screens of listings, surely devaluing any online review. I still do the one, when I feel I have something important to say; I did one on Yell recently for a local business that I had observed on a couple of occasions giving me significant concerns about their attitude to public safety. After a few days I received an email telling me that Yell had removed it because my comment that ‘one of the workers could well have been drunk judging by his attitude’ was defamatory; it's clearly not in Yell’s interest to keep a two-star review visible for a business that is paying for its listing, especially when the only other reviews give the business five stars. Yell did say that I was welcome to do another review for the company, although I would have to wait thirty days. I replaced my previous detailed review with just the words:

I'm a project manager of 20 years experience.

I wouldn't use this company.

That review is still visible but does little by way of articulating my concerns regarding the competence of the business or its employees; it's not much use as a review.

I will name business or local authorities; I see my blog entries as being rather like online reviews, but, instead of being policed (or censored) by the faceless internet authorities to help them sell more business listings, they will represent what an online review should represent - an honest, businesslike but frank description of my experience as a customer, and why it is not what it might have been in the past.

An example - guest accommodation businesses

Let me give an example of how things are not what they used to be. Twenty or thirty years ago, anyone wanting to run an accommodation business - a B&B, or hotel - in the UK had to be accredited by the tourist board, AA or RAC. It wasn’t actually the law, but the only way to get business was to place an entry in a hardcopy listing publication, perhaps costing fifty pounds even for a small business; potential customers would see your entry and then contact you by phone to make a booking. Publishers of such listings would not accept entries from non-accredited businesses, largely to cover themselves in case there was any risk that you did not enjoy your stay, for the law on publishing in the UK means that the publisher of listing magazine or book might be jointly liable should you have a legal claim relating to your stay. 

That, of course, went out of the window with the internet, where sites such as hotels.com, booking.com, AirBnB and indeed TripAdvisor are deemed to be ‘platforms’ and not ‘publications’, so aren’t liable for any losses incurred by customers of businesses listed on their ‘platform’. Our great leaders, in their eagerness to be seen to be in tune with new technology, left open a loophole that has resulted, I believe, in a significant deterioration in the quality of accommodation available to travellers in the UK.  

There is a publication  produced by Visit England - the Pink Book - that specifies the legal obligations that any accommodation business must follow. I believe that many such businesses now operating through the internet do not comply in full; VE also provides an assessment service which provides assurance to customers that these legal requirements are met. At a basic level this does not provide a star rating, but does confirm that your business meets basic levels of safety, security and competence; the star rating scheme provides more information to potential customers. 

From what I can tell from online searches, there are few businesses using even the basic ‘entry level’ of accreditation. A check on the VE site just now for accredited serviced accommodation businesses in Harwich, Essex gave no results. I know personally of four currently open hotels in that town, but none seem to have been assessed by Visit England, according to their website.

Looking at it from the businesses’ perspective, this may not be surprising: assessment costs money, and they get custom from internet sites, for which they need no external assessment - the start ratings on, for example, Google, are determined by customer (or bought) reviews, not a Visit England assessor. 

The result is a huge level of variability in the quality of accommodation available: businesses provide what they feel they need in order to make a profit; in some cases basic hygiene or common sense goes out of the window. (I recently saw an episode of Four In A Bed on TV where the business owner had not fitted locks to the doors of the guests rooms ‘because they didn’t want to run the sort of business where people have to lock their doors’; this places the owner at great risk should a guest have an item of value stolen while staying with them, and, worse, might put guests in the position of being assaulted in their bed at night. I’ve also recently found a bed bug in a hotel room, clear evidence that good cleaning standards were not being followed. Neither of these would be likely to happen in a VE accredited establishment.)

To me it is quite clear that the internet revolution has not resulted in a better, or even as good, customer experience in guest accommodation in the UK. The large chains - Premier Inn, Wetherspoon, etc - have good processes, train their staff properly and maintain their standards because they will go under if they don’t; smaller chains and one off establishments may not even know whether they are making money or not, they often cut corners, potential customers can’t tell the good from the bad. Nowadays I will stay at a large chain hotel whenever I can, it seems to be the only way to get reliable quality. The world of guest accommodation is not better now than it was thirty years ago.

Businesses will see me as an awkward customer for asking the kind of questions I do. I think that’s something to be proud of.